A few weeks ago, as we had set out to leave what had been our home for many years, to relocate to another city, and shortly thereafter when we moved yet again to another, I had felt like a nomad, again.
This time, a sense of detachment seeped in, a separation from all that was a part of my life, but could be left behind at any moment, literally, at the drop of a hat. Nothing is permanent… neither your friends, nor your home, nor family. Several years before, similarly, I had moved from one country to another, leaving behind a life that was rich with memories – good, sad, happy, bad — all that life gives us all – in proportions that may seem overwhelming at times, hard to bear, or sometimes with a sense of “wish this phase never ends”.
But often, don’t we get attached to even the not-so-good times of our life… there’s a strange sense of safety in being amidst what we believe is familiar territory, or familiar challenges of our life? This does not happen consciously… it’s just at the back of our mind, somewhere in the subconscious, and may even affect our deep personality without actually being aware of the transformation. I’ve known friends who say, “Wow, you’ve changed.” Likewise, I’ve felt that way at times also… there are many reasons to this. But I feel that if you live alone for a few years, you may actually begin to feel comfortable with yourself, without the constant need for companionship. This allows you time to reflect on many things, to understand your own self – recognizing your own shortcomings, gaining confidence through your strengths, learning to empathize, be aware of the feelings of others around you… many things which otherwise, when you’re constantly around people, is hard to be truly objective about.
Back to back two favorite songs played and replayed.
For me, “Mere Saajan Hai Uss Paar”, Sachin Dev Burman composition that he himself had sung for ‘Bandini’, is in the same class as ‘Vahaan Kaun Hai Tera Musafir Jaayega Kahaan’ from “Guide” – both with Shailendra’s lyrics, and his voice. Where Nutan, in ‘Bandini’ (1963), breaks free of her shackles (only to be tied into another bandhan with her beloved), the journey of Raju the ‘Guide’ seems to begin where he is released from prison, but his journey as an eternal, solitary traveler seems to begin. The social backdrops in both films are strong. Although both films are very different, with the lead in Bandini as a woman, in Guide, the protagonist is a man. But the journey – in my mind – is free of any gender bias. It relates to man, or woman…
Listen to both my favorite songs. First, Bandini… with Nutan and Ashok kumar
The following shows Dev Anand in Guide: